(picture from Fly Denver)
Denver ranks number 1
Congratulations to Denver International Airport, for ranking number 1 in the country for being the best of the biggest airports for reliability, value, convenience, and most definitely, weirdness!
Dubbed “Mile-High Miracle,” by The Wall Street Journal and “ Illuminati Headquarters” by its own randomly appearing animatronic gargoyle, DIA’s controversial background comes as no secret to conspiracy theorists worldwide.
What makes DIA unforgettable
The worlds top-ranking airport is becoming an oddities museum of sorts showcasing everything from Bluecifer, the fiery-eyed Bronco statue, which creepily greets passengers coming to and from the airport, to several paintings that look like something from Edgar Allan Poe’s nightmares. But its most recent addition, a talking gargoyle that spits witty remarks at patrons as they pass, is taking DIA by storm!
The gargoyle’s surprise appearance commemorates the conspiracy-ridden airport’s 24th anniversary in hilarious ways!
Among other things that make DIA the talk of the town are it’s swastika shaped runways- not the best design, they know! It’s supposed tribute to a new strain of hepatitis to be used for biological warfare, which in reality, is none other than Navajo symbols from the periodic table of elements. Really folks? Really?
A dedication marker with the iconic Freemason symbol that reads, “New World Airport Commission,” locking in the airports time capsule. FYI, there is no such organization.
And last but not least, a series of tunnels and supposed bunkers that run for miles under the airport. What’s with these bunkers you ask? They are set to become the new headquarters of the New World Order by our very own government of course!
So, with DIA being a conspiracy theorists dream, it makes perfect sense the airport would bring in an interactive gargoyle statue to poke fun at the situation. The gargoyle has already greeted passengers saying, “Welcome to Illimunit Headquarters, ahh I mean, Denver International Airport!” The mischievous gargoyle even went as far as to tell one passage to take him home! When she agreed, he followed up with “actually I think you have too much baggage for me!”
Come check us out
If you’re in a rush to make it out to DIA to check out this sarcastic work of art, park your vehicle at Fine Airport Parking and jump on a free shuttle to the terminal. While our facility is free of conspiracies, we do have the power to magically restore your vehicle to its former glory with one of our great detail packages! Make your appointment today!